Just one of those days

Have you ever just had one of those days were you thought Oh-I-don't-feel-like-giving-a-crap. People-can-help-themselves? And man today was one of those days. I just wanted to kick back and watch everyone struggle as they tried to help others or themselves. I just got back from the football game, and I felt terrible, I felt like I didn't do something. I tried to clear my head, like any other sixteen year old boy can do at eleven thirty, play a video game. Now I started to ponder, but focused more on my game, and didn't reflect. So I finished my game and hopped on good ole Facebook. Then, of course, I realize something-it hit me like a soccer ball in the face- I didn't try to help someone. Ever since my cousin and I served in church and we had to talk about being a hero, we came up with a list of qoutes, and this one qoute from Voltaire, not the evil vampires from the Twilight books-or so I've been told they share a common name with this phlisopher. Voltaire once said "Every man is guilty of the good he did not do," and I finally understood why I felt this way. I had a chance to prove, that there is someone that cares for the unpopular, the uncared for, but I did nothing. It was Senior Advisor time, and I had to report to the most gut wrenching, pudrid smelling room in the entire world, the boys locker room. I walked through that wooden door and sat on the bench. Mr. C went through the entire shpeel on the new Senior Advisor set up and he let us talk. Now most of us know of a kid who in our eighth grade year and realized at lunch he was diabetic, when he fell over and started siezing on the floor. Well to people mad fun of him, because he wasn't there. Now they started off with the small stuff, you know calling him stupid, I'm not saying that calling someone stupid isn't bad, but in my mind it is a lesser insult. They then quickly switched from the boys intellect to his sexualty, I'm not saying that this kid is gay, I'm 100% sure he isn't but they called him that instantly. I sat there and thought "What he doesn't know won't hurt him," I was no better then them. Finally they had the nerve to go so low as to make fun of the kid because he had diabities! I was POed, I have an aunt who has it, but yet I thought the world could save itself, or someone else would step up to the plate and stop it. All of us bystanders were worse then those two boys, especially me. I sat there with my expressionless look, but I was just so angry, sad, desprate, I don't know, but I didn't do anything. I sit here and type about all of the good people should do, but now it seems like a load of hypocritical bull crap. I truely regret what I failed to do, I failed to be a leader and take a stand for a friend. I might not talk to him in school, or on Facebook, or on the street, but I know this kid he has one heck of a time here at school. People and my grade, even me, found it funny when he failed a grade, once again, I felt bad, but I don't find that to be any attonment for my sins. Just because I felt that regret, I my failure to take action wasn't absolved, it just proved-right now-that I should have helped done something. I was trying to find a way to cleanse me of this problem I caused. I also realized today, I made fun of a classmate in my history class, I don't know why, but I did. And I would like to thank the eleventh grade history teacher for telling me off, thank you Mr. W, I don't know I acted for the rest of the class. I'll tell you one thing, I felt like the biggest DB in the world, and I deserve to feel this way. So today was, just one of those days.